Jericho

What was I thinking? My megalomania did its thing again. First, I'm writing a book and get frustrated because I don't have access to the Dead Sea Scrolls to do my research. Then I start thinking up ways I might gain access without paying for it. Then it occurs to me that while nobody would be willing to pay for the $10,000 Discoveries in the Judean Desert (DJD), which is the forty-volume publication that finally started rolling out in 1994 at a rate slower than trickle economics and is finally on the last volume, they might be willing to make such a donation if everybody could have access, not just me. No need to send me to U. of Chicago on a scholarship.

After all, who am I? But a whole community of people benefiting - that was different. And that was something I could solicit for. So I pictured myself on the side of the road handing out flyers explaining that the Dead Sea Scrolls (DSS) had been withheld from public view for far too long, and that now that it is out only a handful of people will be able to see it first hand because of the cost, but that if everybody chipped in a little bit then I'd be happy to open up a building 24/7 so anybody who wanted to could go in and see it.

Of course, a local library could do the same. But what I really wanted was to be able to look at them 24/7 myself and quit my retail job. Next comes I'm going to be the manager of this little hole-in-the-wall facility for geeks like me who love such things. But not much time passes before I realize that once these geeks get together they are going to want to have teaching sessions, classes, and that schools an religious institutions and lots of individuals and groups might have an interest, especially if there was coffee served there and a relaxing place to hang out with a hot spot for their laptop, like at StarBucks.

Then came the thought of teaching PaleoHebrew and other ancient languages. What better place? And to boot, there have been some 106 manuscripts found of the New Testament since 1900 dating to the first two centuries CE. I could contribute one of my copies of Nestle Arand.

Suddenly then I'm imagining an ever growing group of people seriously interested in the Scriptures getting together and making the place great. And it was from that point that my abstractions started whirring around in me with a buzz like a reel with a shark on the line.

Everyone dreams of reeling in a shark, but truth is sharks bite off a pefectly good catch and almost always break the line. Try to real in a giant. See what happens.

That seems to be what happened to me here. I didn't set out to catch a big one. What I started out with seemed manageable. I was thinking nice and small. But the more I thought about it the bigger the idea kept getting. If a little 24/7 Scrolls facility in Palm Beach Gardens would work, then why not other cities? If it made sense for the DSS, which just one author wanted, why wouldn't it work for entirely different research material? Say for instance something related to science or medicine or genealogies?

Yes, I know. We call them libraries. We already have these. But libraries aren't open 24/7. And you can't take the reference materials home with you. If you have a full time job, like I do, the next book you write will take years, rather than months. Life is short.

That's how it all got started. It was just an idea born of my personal need. In a week's time I churned out a web site for it - http://247scrolls.org/ and set a goal of forming a team in 30 days and incorporating a non-profit. Not unreasonable.

But the bigger the idea got the greater my self-doubt loomed. There were people far more qualified than I am. I'm not an expert, much less a leading expert. My Greek is lousy. My Hebrew is worse. The only thing I have going for me is determination and faith.

Faith is what really got me in trouble. I recently(6 months ago) moved into PGA National and took a walk around the neighborhood for the first time after finishing the web site. I needed some fresh air. And I also needed a location for Reference Hall #1. Lisa and I noticed there was an empty building in walking distance from the villa. Perfect. Wouldn't it be great if I could walk to my office every day?!

Then came this breathtaking image. I look across the pond, over the fountain, and there it is. Yet another almost entirely abandoned building. I walked around that building seven times tonight. It was my Jericho. That, or a building like it, is too big for me. My big God has me thinking of the big things He can do. I don't have to limit this vision.

But neither do I want to be misled by visions of grandeur and angels of light. So while I walked I prayed. I prayed for discernment. And I was aware of my dependence on Him. I didn't get into this because I thought I deserved it. I won't get into it pretending I know more than I do. Masks will ruin it. I am a man who came to learn so that I might teach. I wanted due diligence for my writing. And now I want due diligence for my discerning.

I don't doubt that You can feed 5000 with the little loaves and fish I have. I don't doubt that I will walk on water if You tell me to. What I doubt is my ability to hear Your voice. I'm asking for the real thing.